The Postive Power of Reciprocity

From Dien Rice @ Sowpub.com

There are many persuasion techniques. Many are ethical. Though a few are dubious and rely on deception.

One absolutely ethical persuasion technique is to include details. Be specific!

For example, instead of saying the Sowpub forum has over 25,000 posts, I could say the Sowpub forum has 27,021 posts. It’s more specific, more detailed. It’s better, because specificity and detail makes you more believable.

But there’s a downside too… Which is that finding out all these details is usually more work!

However, if you make the effort to find out the extra detail, your writing and other communications will be more believable.

Another ethical persuasion technique is reciprocity. That means giving something, then asking something later in return.

Because you gave something first, many people will feel more of a social obligation to give something in return, in response to your request.

Here’s an example of the principle of reciprocity “in action”.

A few years ago I was in Hawaii, in beautiful Waikiki. I was at a street corner, waiting to cross at the light, when a man wearing a baseball cap and carrying a clipboard approached me.

He said, “Welcome to Hawaii”, then gave me a “smiley-face” sticker. I thanked him - thinking, how friendly they were in Hawaii!

Then he asked if I could donate to his charity he was representing. He said it had something to do with helping children, or something to that effect.

Now, normally I would probably not have given anything - not because I don’t like to give to charity, but because I’m usually selective about where my charitable donations go. I like to be certain that my money is going to a good cause.

However, in this case I gave him about $10 in a donation. He thanked me, and then gave me a book.

When I looked at it, I recognized it. It was written by Srila Prabhupada - who was the founder of the Hare Krishna religion. The man who had approached me for a donation was a Hare Krishna!

You may have read about how they have approached people in the past, giving a flower first, then asking for a donation. (I think this was even lampooned in the movie Airplane!)

This man did not make himself look like an obvious Hare Krishna - he wore normal clothes. Many Hare Krishnas shave their head, except for a small tuft of hair, which makes them more recognizable.

However, by wearing a baseball cap this man made it less obvious. He (unfortunately) also used deception, in giving the impression that he was representing some other (never before heard of) charity.

Nevertheless, it was also excellent use of the princple of reciprocity.

He gave me a sticker - something that would be worth perhaps 5 cents or 10 cents. In return, I gave him a $10 donation - partly out of the feeling of reciprocity, for his kind “welcome” to Hawaii, and his “gift” of a smiley-faced sticker!

I encountered another example of reciprocity just a few days ago. I’m currently doing some traveling, and I was in the town of Rockhampton, in Queensland, Australia. It was an oppressively hot day, and we (my girlfriend and I) passed by an ice cream store.

A lady in the store had scooped out two “tastes” of cookies and cream-flavored ice-cream, and was holding it out to us. With the blistering heat, how could we turn it down!

After tasting the ice cream from their “sample”, we decided to both get ice-creams!

They gave us a sample of ice-cream - probably worth a few cents each on their little sample-sticks. As a result, the two of us bought 2 ice-creams, and spent a total of $7.40!

Another store I know in Melbourne, Australia does something similar.

It’s a small felafel and “kebab” restaurant located on a busy shopping street - Acland Street, in St. Kilda, a seaside suburb of Melbourne.

Often, particularly on busy weekends, they’ll have a lady out on the street in front of the store. She’ll be holding a tray of freshly-cooked felafel balls.

With a pair of tongs, she’ll offer them out to passers-by, who can grab a felafel ball and eat it.

It’s all free, and there’s absolutely no obligation to buy anything. However, they must find that enough people go into the restaurant for their meal to make it worthwhile - because they’ve been doing the same thing, week in week out, for many years.

Restaurants on Acland Street are notorious for going out of business - because it’s a street full of restaurants, and there’s very stiff competition. But this little felafel and kebab restaurant has survived and thrived there for many years, competing against much fancier restaurants which have folded.

To make reciprocity work, you have to give something which has a “worth” to the recipient. But if everyone else and his dog is doing the same thing, it won’t be valued as much by the customer.

For example, at least in internet marketing, giving away free ebooks has become common - and is therefore valued less. However, in other markets doing this is less common, and will be more highly valued.

If you use the principle of reciprocity, and do it in a way which makes you “stand out from the crowd”, you’ll gain more success by using it!

Dien Rice